I can’t stay quiet any longer… No matter how crazy you might think I am, everyone has to know–
There’s something hideous living in the Rocky Mountains, disguised as the mountains themselves. It’s been there all along, from the very first day mankind walked the Earth. Maybe even longer.
At first, I didn’t believe it– how could I?
Sure, I’d heard stories from the old miners and lumberjacks… The ones who make their homes in the secluded forests overlooking Colorado’s high country towns.
“Don’t veer from the trail,” they say, “or it’ll get you!”
According to legend, the monster hangs from the sides of mountains by way of its giant hooked tail. If you see it, though, then it’s too late. Surely, if you’ve spotted the beast, then it’s already spotted you.
“It’s big— like an ocean liner,” they say. “Looks like a giant fish, with razor sharp teeth, little, beady eyes and grease drooling out its mouth to help give it speed.”
Then they’ll point off into the distance and add, “See over there? That path of fallen trees? That’s where it slid down the mountain. It loves eating you ‘touristy’ types… Has a big appetite, too!”
Sure enough, when I looked, I saw the destruction left behind in the beast’s wake– Swaths of trees mowed down like blades of grass.
But, it wasn’t until I encountered the “Slide-Rock Bolter” first-hand, that I understood the stark truth of its terrifying existence; that the creature lives not in the mountains, but in the depths of the human heart.
You see, every town, province and country has its cryptid– hidden animals that exist only as reflections of our own darkest nature. Legends that are real, but can never be proven.
So, when I swear to you that I’ve looked into the mouth of the Bolter myself, and seen the darkness of the abyss inside, you’ll just have to take me at my word. Unless, that is, you’ve also found the monster clinging to your own heart.
I’m talking, of course, about the carnal urge every human has to experience violence in one form or another. Like a hidden animal living in each one of us, feeding on our desire to inflict pain on those we hate.
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, then perhaps you’re the tourist, haplessly wandering through the woods, unaware that you’re being stalked; hunted by a vicious predator. If you stay in the forest long enough, though, then you’re bound to encounter the Bolter as well. For, it won’t be able to resist the smell of your innocence.
To everyone else, I’ll say it clearly; we’re all creatures of violence, though we normally keep it hidden from the rest of the world. The only question is if you know the nature of your particular cryptid, and what it feeds upon.
Is it a political stance? A group of people, perhaps, who you secretly think would be better off dead, if for nothing more than the ‘good of the country’?
Is it a child abuser, molester or rapist? Someone you consider to be vile beyond all measures of humanity?
Is it a race, ethnicity, religion, creed, dietary preference, or gender-affirming zealot who seeks to undermine the core values you hold so dear?
Or is it yourself and the pain of knowing that the ugliness of the beast is as much a part of you as you are of it?
Heavy, I know…
If you’re still reading this, though, then rest assured that there’s hope! After all, there was once a man who killed a Slide-Rock Bolter.
He was a mountain ranger who knew all too well the stereotypes of the Colorado tourist. Not only that, but he also knew how the Bolter behaved.
His insight came after observing one of the predators living in his local valley. He saw that it would hang above the tree-line, sometimes for days, until a group of unsuspecting and all too-often unequipped sightseers would stumble past. That’s when it would strike…
It would release its massive hooks, speed down the mountainside and scoop its victims into its gaping mouth! Then, with the momentum it gained from the downhill descent, it would propel itself up the other side of the valley, reattach itself to the rocks and wait for its next meal.
Now, the one thing the Ranger noticed over and over again, was that the tourists the beast seemed to go after the most were always wearing Crocks hiking boots…
Armed with that knowledge, he went to work constructing a decoy with all the details he would need to fool the leviathan.
He filled the decoy with gunpowder and percussion caps, and then outfitted it with gore-tex pants and a Northface jacket. He hung a pair of binoculars around the neck and made sure to put a Colorado trail guide in its hand. Most importantly, though, he covered the feet with a brand new pair of Crocks hiking boots– the camouflage kind. It was a detail he knew the behemoth would be powerless to resist.
Well, it didn’t take long for the Bolter to take the bait, and when it did, the ensuing explosion was nothing short of Earth-shattering!
Half the nearby town was leveled by the shockwave of the blast. Consequently, it was never rebuilt. To this day, in fact, the town of Rico, Colorado has never recovered from the boom and bust episode with the Slide-Rock Bolter.
For the Ranger, however, his cryptid was vanquished and he was free to rebuild his life. It only took knowing the beast, and what it preyed upon.
So, it falls to the rest of us to do the same work as he— To be brave enough to look our monster in the eyes and patient enough to learn its cravings…
Until then, feel free to leave a comment! Which cryptids do you know of lurking in the shadows and what secrets do you know about how to slay them?
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