Written by Dastem
Per usual, there’s a lot of politics going on in the good ol’ US of A. Notwithstanding the normal divisiveness, it’s refreshing when everyone can agree. Surprisingly, the government shutdown has given birth to one such rarity–
First, let me explain why I’m releasing this article a week late, as I think you’ll find that one thing leads to the other.
You see, my car was in desperate need of a tune-up. I felt it in my bones (mainly because of a rough idle 😅).
Being that I find solace in doing my own auto work, I opted to do the job myself. Everything was going swimmingly until it came time to replace the rear plugs and coils.
To access the back of the engine, one must first remove the windshield wipers and motor assembly. That’s the only way to access the intake manifold, which also has to come off.
The hardest part of the whole job, though, is locating the two bolts in back of the engine… They hold the manifold in place. They’re also nearly impossible to access without a mirror and/or small hands (neither of which I had at the time).
Those discoveries were part of why I decided to take the car to a local mechanic, instead. I asked if they’d be willing to change the back three plugs considering I already had the parts. They said “yes” and told me it’d be ~$200 for labor alone.
Well, I figured I was better off paying a professional to do the job in this case. So, I gave them the green light. Then, I sat down in the lobby.
I noticed the mechanic perusing YouTube for a bit, apparently brushing up on how to change spark plugs on my vehicle. Meanwhile, my stomach was turning sour from drinking too much of their re-heated coffee. Finally, after close to three hours, I heard the hood slam shut. The job was done.
When I pulled out of the parking lot, though, I instantly noticed that both the check-engine and traction control lights were on. I immediately turned around and went back to the garage–
“You guys just replaced my spark plugs, and now my check-engine light is on,” I told the manager.
“Oh yeah,” she said, “we saw that, but didn’t know if it was on before you brought it to us.”
“It wasn’t,” I sternly replied. “I drive my car every day. I know it wasn’t on before I came in.”
At that point, she told me they’d already run diagnostics; when they first noticed the that the warning lights were on. It was after they finished the job (weird). In any event, the code indicated a bad ‘camshaft position sensor’.
“It ties into your traction control, too,” she explained. “That’s why both the lights are on.”
“Well, do you think maybe your guy knocked a wire loose while he was changing the plugs?”
“Oh, no! We didn’t touch the camshaft sensors. They’re not even close to the spark plugs,”
She invited me invited me to pull my car into the garage, so the mechanic could show me exactly where each sensor was located–-
He pointed out three of them in total–all on the front of the engine (convenient). Furthermore, the only spark plugs in the vicinity were the ones that I, myself, had replaced.
“What about the back?” I asked. “Is there be a sensor behind the engine?”
“No, no… These are the only ones.”
Now, I knew it was going to be next to impossible getting them to remove the manifold again for free. Now when it just took three hours to do in the first place. So, irritated, I left the garage with a new mission in mind–
I had to find why check-engine light was on myself. Otherwise, my car was never going to pass emissions again!
So, the next day, I went to the parts store to buy a new sensor for a painful $86. I only hoped that only one of the sensors had gone bad.
When I got home, I went to work replacing the senor in the very back, next to the intake manifold. That was the most likely candidate, I figured, since it easily could’ve been smacked with a wrench.
After finishing the swap, I hopped into the driver’s seat and started the engine–
Dang it! The same warning lights came on.
So, I swapped the new sensor out with the next one in line, closer to the front. “Surely, there can’t be more than one bad sensor,” I reassured myself. “I’ll just go one at a time until I find which one it is.”
Again, I started the engine. Again, the warning lights came on.
With my last bit of hope hanging like a bead of sweat from my dirty forehead, I moved the new sensor to the last position in line… The one in the very front, right next to the center spark plug.
I fired up the engine, and–you guessed it–the lights were still on.
I was at a loss.
Either every single one of the sensors had gone bad at the exact same time (ironic), or there’s a fourth sensor in the back of the engine somewhere, just like I said at the shop! It was probably right next to the spark plugs, where the light of day never reaches.
Shit.
I would have to take the intake manifold off. Exactly what I was trying to avoid the entire time.
Well, with no other options, I went back to the auto parts store to buy a mirror. Then, I got to work.
Now friends, I’ll tell you this—I’m normally a calm guy, or at least, I try to be. After working for an hour and a half, though, I was at my wits-end. So, when I finally popped that intake manifold off, and saw what was behind it, I just about lost my mind–
There, in the back of the engine, peeking up from under the center spark plug, was the fourth camshaft position sensor…
…and it had a disconnected. wire.
I screamed “I @#$%^&* knew it” into the air a few times, before shoving the wire back into its socket. Then, I reassembled the engine, reconnected the battery and fired her up–
At last… no warnings! All was right in the world… with the exception of one thing.
The shop still made money on the deal. I couldn’t let it stand.
I went straight back to the manager to report my findings–
“Your guy did knock a wire loose and it did cause the check engine light to come on,” I declared. “I fixed it myself… Now, I know you guys replaced the spark plugs. But, being that you caused this whole other problem that I had to fix, I want a refund.”
Of course, she reacted the way you’d expect. “We can’t do that! For all we know, the light was on when you brought it in!”
“Guys,” I explained, as the general manager joined the conversation to my right, “I know the light wasn’t on before I came in. Besides, nobody’s ever taken the intake manifold off before. There’s no reason the wire to be pulled out.”
The GM shook his head. “We did the work you hired us to do, though. I can’t tell my boss that we refunded you for a job we didn’t do…”
Suddenly, I understood. It was about liability.
It was a valiant effort, but in the end, they came around to my way of thinking. All it took was a little incentive—the kind I knew they’d appreciate.
“I get where you’re coming from,” I said, “but I’m losing out more than you on this deal. I’m willing to work with you, though. I’ll give you a 5-star review if you help me out.
“If not…
“You have to understand, the whole reason I brought the car to you in the first place was because I didn’t want to take off the manifold. Otherwise, I would have just replaced the plugs myself!
“Plus, I’m still out the $86 for the new sensor, which I don’t end up needing. Not to mention six hours of my time… and I’ll explain all of that in a 1-star review if you don’t work with me.”
Long story short, the mechanic now has a glowing 5-star review from me on Google. In the end, everyone was happy.
Anyway, the whole episode reminds me of what’s going on with the current government shutdown–
If we think of the government as the mechanic in this example, then we have to ask why, as ‘the People’, aren’t we demanding a ‘refund’?
Forget the lying… That’s just them trying to avoid liability. Forget the political posturing. That’s just theatrics.
As a nation, what we need to start doing is thinking like clients.
We’ve hired Congress and the House of Representatives to work for our interests. They’re supposed to be doing the job(s) the rest of us are either unwilling, unable, or unqualified to do. For that, we pay a handsome salary of anywhere between $174K-$224K per year.
Why aren’t those salaries tied to government shutdowns like other federal workers? Why do they get to collect paychecks while everyone else goes without? Why do they get to take time off from work without worrying about getting fired?
Why aren’t the people who are directly responsible for running our government considered “essential workers” themselves?
Hence, this week’s “call to action” is to take matters into your own hands. Much like I did with my car, the time has come to start fixing our own problems.
Contact your local representative. Demand the House and Congress to forgo their paychecks during government shutdowns. It’s time to hold them accountable for the next time this happens.
Anything less is like paying a mechanic to break your car and letting them get away with it.
If the court of public opinion is good enough for a local business, it’s good enough for a local representative. Never forget that “We the People” are clients. That’s why we have the power.
Here’s the link to Find Your Representative
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