Written by Dastem
In our quest to find the common denominator binding us all together, we turn again to the concept of belief.
As last week’s article suggests, everyone is entitled to their own set of beliefs, no matter how diametrically opposed they may be to someone else’s. But, does that mean that every belief system should be automatically accepted as “legitimate”? Or are there some that are flat-out wrong? At what point does belief become self-delusion? More importantly, are those two things essentially one in the same?
Take, for example, the story of Lisette; a woman who absolutely hated water–
Apparently when she was a child, she nearly drowned in a swimming pool. It was a trauma she never fully overcame, despite her best efforts. That being said, nobody could blame her for being terrified of any situation that might expose her to the risk of drowning.
If only I’d known that before inviting her to go tubing down the river…
You see, for years my family has enjoyed the leisurely pastime of floating the river. Nothing beats jumping into the cool water with a backpack full of spirited refreshments before floating down the currents of relaxation for a few hours. It’s one of our favorite ways to escape the summer heat!
Before going any further, I must preface this by saying that we’ve had our fair share of river adventures over the years… Let’s just say it’s not all slow-going. There are a few “rapids” and otherwise cumbersome spots, meaning it sometimes gets stressful despite our best intentions.
After all, it was a river float that taught me why inflatable coolers make for horrible storage compartments.
That particular lesson came after riding down one of the larger rapids. As soon as I made it safely down, I drifted into the calm waters of an eddy at the bottom of the fall. It was when I turned around to grab a fresh beverage out of the cooler that my heart sank…
The cooler had capsized.
“No worries,” I thought, “It has a Velcro lid on it! Surely that’s strong enough to keep everything safe…”
Alas, it was not. Evidently, the Velcro on that lid was purely meant to instill a sense of false confidence, because I quickly discovered that everything that was once inside had fallen out… including the car keys. Yeah, that wasn’t fun… or cheap.
Then there was the time I learned not to tie my ankle to the raft in front of me to help my friends navigate the rapids… As soon as they went over the edge, I got yanked clean off my tube and dislocated my shoulder in the process. Ah yes, the joys of learning painful life lessons!
So, whether it’s an encounter with a snagged fish hook in the thigh, a smack to the tailbone by an unseen boulder, or overshooting the exit point and having to walk a mile back to the car, experience has truly been our best teacher.
That’s why, when Lisette agreed to participate in one of our trademark river floats, I couldn’t help but wonder why she kept the truth of her hydrophobia a secret. You would think that her previous experience with water would have led her to say, “Hey guys, I’m willing to give it a shot, but I’m terrified of water, so I might get out early.”
To that, I would have said, “I get it… Just let us know if you get freaked out or need to take a break. We’ll make sure you’re ok.”
The last thing I would have done is laugh at her uncontrollably…
But, she chose to jump right in without telling any of us that she didn’t even know how to use a paddle! It wouldn’t have been a big deal, seeing as we’ve taught quite a few people how to navigate the currents, but with Lisette, the fear of water was so strong that it prevented her from using her brain… and no, I’m not just being mean.
The first time her inability to think became obvious was when I saw her paddling around in circles. I called out to her, “Lisette, you need to paddle on both sides… one and then the other. Otherwise, you’re just gonna keep spinning around!”
As she rotated around to face me, though, I could see that she had a feral look in her eyes. It was like the lights were on, but nobody was home.
Now, I don’t like to admit this, but there was something hilarious about seeing that poor girl spin around like a top that struck my funny bone! I couldn’t help but to start chuckling to myself.
“Lisette,” I shouted again, “you’re heading straight towards the shore! You gotta start paddling on the other side!”
Again, she came spinning around, but this time as she passed, I could see that her face had transformed into sheer terror. She even started crying!
I must be a terrible person, because at that point, I completely lost it.
“Lis..” I started, but couldn’t get the words out as tears started flowing down my face from laughing so hard, “you… you’re gonna hit that bush! Come on now, just listen to me! You gotta paddle on the other side!”
By then it was too late. Lisette had steered herself directly into the shoreline, where a thick bramble of shrubs and river willows were hanging over the bank. While she was desperately trying to get away, her tube just kept spinning around and around until it finally got snagged on a branch.
Within a millisecond, the telltale hissing of an air leak became evident… and that, my friends, was the beginning of the end for Lisette.
She started screaming at the top of her lungs, “Help! Help me! I’m sinking!”
By then, my stomach was hurting from all the bellylaughs (which I’ve since come to feel bad about). Somehow, between gasping for air, I managed to say, “You’re not gonna sink, I promise! Just use your paddle to push yourself out of that bush and I’ll come help you.”
Yet, no matter how hard I tried to get through to her, she just couldn’t hear me… or she couldn’t do anything about it. The paralysis of fear was too powerful. Like I said before, she’d lost the ability to think.
So, I started paddling over to where she was while her screaming continued to intensify. Meanwhile, a modest crowd of onlookers onshore stopped to make sure nobody was being murdered.
When I’d finally gotten to within ten feet of her, I called out again, “Hey! Stop screaming, Lisette! It’s going to be ok… You just need to–”
“No!” she interrupted like an irrational toddler who doesn’t want to admit when they’re tired, “I’m going to die! I know it! I’m sinking!”
“No you’re not,” I said again, as my trembling stomach threatened to break into laughter again at any moment… “Just stand up!”
“Just stand up!”
-Dastem, 2025
Here’s the thing… Lisette truly believed that she was going to drown. So, even when she saw me get out of my tube, stand up and proceed to walk through the river to her, she couldn’t believe anything different. She couldn’t see what was actually in front of her eyes; that the water was barely two feet deep and she was basically sitting on the ground.
Needless to say, Lisette survived the day. Granted, she’d popped a sizable hole in her tube and ended up having to walk all the way back to the car by foot, but hey, at least she made it onto dry land.
The rest of us continued on down the river to enjoy the rest of the float. I take no pride in the fact that I kept laughing every so often along the way.
I bring this story up because it highlights the importance of belief. Lisette believed in her fear, which was enough to completely alter her reality. Even though there was never any chance of her dying in that specific context, I can guarantee you that her experience that day only legitimized her fear of water even more.
What could she have done differently? I’m not sure…
What I do know is that if we’re to find common ground in the calamity of today’s world–where our fears, preconceived notions, previous life experiences, preferences, predilections, opinions and judgements are all crystallized into rigid belief systems–we must put in the effort to see things for what they really are.
I’m not saying it’s easy and I’m definitely not saying that I’m the person to help you do it. After all, if history’s any indicator, I’m just as likely to laugh hysterically at your misguided beliefs as I am to lead you to the truth.
So, at the end of the day, we’re all responsible for challenging our own beliefs, even if we’re convinced they’re right. The alternative is to sacrifice our ability to think.
The Dantian Project seeks to find common truths in modern issues. Please like, share and subscribe to help the conversation reach as many people as possible! If you’d like to become a contributor, visit the submission guidelines page.
Leave a comment